No Dianasours on the Ark: Why?

Given the 24/7 coverage of  the floods going on everywhere I have been flooded with thoughts of  flooding and then been totally enthralled by how much "Noah" and "the Ark" humor there is about.

However, the most interesting or should I say amusing question is:
Why were there no Dianasours on the Ark?

Especially when you allow acceptance of some views that say all the species existed together or at the same time.

Some of the possible (humorous) answers to the question follow by way cartoons that I found on the net -

The they were to lay back from all the hemp and reeds they ate - theory?
They just missed the boat.

There were two Arks and only the one with the big brain stems made it - theory?
Also known as the aggressive bastards shall inherit the earth - theory?

The blame the man theory - preferred by females?

The scientific theory - preferred by geeks?

Enjoy and ponder and wonder if its not better for some things just to remain as question.

Tales from the Office

.

Sometimes being less eager can be an advantage in the workplace. 
For example, my friend was telling me about a new employee. . . .

He was spotted standing near the paper shredder looking very confused. "Need some help? " my friend who is a secretary asked. "Yes," replied the new employee. "How does this thing work? " "Simple," she said taking the fat report from his hand and feeding it into the shredder. "Thanks, but where do the copies come out? " asked the new employee.

I guess while we are always keen to help the real skill is knowing how to listen and then act appropriately. Maybe I should mail this story to a politician or two?

Notes from a Train Ride

My first week back at work in 2011 draws near to it's end. It's felt like a long one after the all too short holiday in Melbourne.

It's been sad to see all the flooding in Queensland. The massive amount of water which has transformed Brisbane into a Venice of sorts. It going to be a long fix if indeed it can be fixed. Certainly lost life can't be replaced. Here's hoping weather breaks and repair can start.

It certainly has felt biblical weather wise lately. So much so that the not so serious news is that Gopher wood sales continue to rise in eastern Australian and several men with long beards and longer robes have spotted herding up all types of exotic animals. While in higher areas and on hill tops some have spotted large boat hulls and prows being built. Dear God have we been that bad? Perhaps it time for a serious effort on climate change?

This week has left me feeling that the art of being human is believe things get better so I do!

Another from the Book of Blonde

Today's chortle:

At a pharmacy, a blonde asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms.

The chemist explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing the woman and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first.

"That won't work," countered the blonde woman. "You see I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt. "

Mary's Sunday School: A Moral Tale

Mary was not the best student in her Sunday school and usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe? " When Mary didn't stir, Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty! " shouted Mary.

The teacher said, "Very good! " and Mary fell back to sleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior? ", but Mary didn't even stir from her deep slumber.

Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ! " shouted Mary. The teacher said, "Very good! " and Mary fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child? " Again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.

This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half! "

The Teacher fainted.

So ends the lesson and the moral is -poking around may get you answers but they may not be what you expect!!!'

Last Day of Holidays

Well the day I did not want to face two weeks ago has come all too soon. Yes today is the last day of my Christmas Holidays! Oh well it had to happen and one needs to be philosophical..

Hope I can manage to get up in time for the train. The last few days I really have been on holiday time.

With the passing of the years it seems like the good times fly by faster than they ever did. However I am lifted a bit by the line from my "Senior Wit & Wisdom" calendar (which a thoughtful person gave to me for Christmas - can always uses a new source of one-liners). Todays jewel was: "One consolation of ageing is realizing that while you have been growing old you friends haven't been standing still in that matter either."
True! ... but then if we all get old at once you probably don't want to be the one who lives longest as it could get pretty lonely even with Social Media.

Any way enough windswept philosophic brooding for one day and back to the real tasks that only a true grumpy old man can handle, namely: bitching about having to go back to work,

This Cartoon explains pretty much why I prefer holidays to work.
Although its pretty life relevant too!!

Post Melbourne - Day 5 Back Home

Last day was mostly about getting home but we did manage another brief escape into the magic world of Melbourne retail before we were needed to collect our bags and be ready for the shuttle to the airport. In the true Asian way the driver was determined to fit every last human possible into that mini-van of his - even us big well rounded Anglo humans. Needles to say we humped and bumped all the way to the airport and were treated to an exciting departure on the road as it were. Surviving all that and the long check in lines we made it home around five. Away is good but still think home is better.

Following some of the pictures from the trip:

Its my little Brown Tram
u know what I mean!!!!

Market Town in the Docklands
or "Death by Credit Card"

See they did have Padded Cells

Princess Theatre
Hairspray the Musical
Heaven!!!!

St Paul's Cathedral is a lovely building