The GW Bush Junior Top 10

Some pearls among the many gems to come forth from the mouth of one GW Bush Junior.

Reading these is enough to bring on faith as surely there must be a God if this man led the free world and war was avoided:

(10) They misunderestimated me.

(9) See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda

(8) I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace.

(7) I'm the commander -- see, I don't need to explain -- I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being president.

(6) The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq were the ones who attacked us in America on September the 11th.

(5) Tribal sovereignty means that. It’s sovereign. You’re a ... you’re a ... you’ve been given sovereignty and you’re viewed as a sovereign entity

(4) I wish you'd have given me this written question ahead of time so I could plan for it...I'm sure something will pop into my head here in the midst of this press conference, with all the pressure of trying to come up with answer, but it hadn't yet...I don't want to sound like I have made no mistakes. I'm confident I have. I just haven't -- you just put me under the spot here, and maybe I'm not as quick on my feet as I should be in coming up with one.

(3) Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.

(2) If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator

(1) There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

God v Red Tape

In the beginning God Created heaven and the earth.

Quickly he was faced with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact statement.

He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was stymied with the Cease and Desist order for the earthly part.

Appearing at the hearing, God was asked why he began his earthly project in the first place. He replied that he just liked to be creative.

Then God said, "Let there be light. " Officials immediately demanded to know how the light would be made. Would there be strip mining? What about thermal pollution? God explained that the light would come from a huge ball of fire. God was granted provisional permission to make light, assuming that no smoke would result from the ball of fire, that he would obtain a building permit, and (to conserve energy) would have the light out half the time. God agreed and said he would call the light "Day " and the darkness "Night. " Officials replied that they were not interested in semantics.

God said, "Let the earth bring forth green herb and such as many seed. "The EPA agreed so long as native seed was used. Then God said, "Let waters bring forth creeping creatures having life; and the fowl that may fly over the earth. " Officials pointed out this would require approval from the Department of Game coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife Federation and the Audubongelic Society.

Everything was OK until God said he wanted to complete the project in six days. Officials informed him it would take at least 200 days to review the application and the environmental impact statement. After that there would be a public hearing. Then there would be 10-12 months before...

At this point God created Hell."