14) Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
13) I'm having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!
12) [When Holmer met Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
11) When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
10) Life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.
9) mmmm…unexplained bacon
8) English side ruined, must read French side. La Grille?? The hell is that?
7) How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
6) Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does that do me?
5) I’m not normally a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman!
4) English? Who needs that, I’m never going to England.
3) I’ve masturbated 10 billion times and have no plans to stop masturbating in the future
2) If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can’t speak English. Ah Tibor, how many times have you saved my butt?
1) Operator! Give me the number for 911!
No comments:
Post a Comment