Common Sense Definitions

This is a list of Common Sense definitions not to be taken too seriously and definitely with a grain of salt....

A is for

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

B is for

BATHROOM: A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mother to be a self-cleaning facility.

C is for

COMMITTEE: A body that keeps the minutes and often wastes the hours.

D is for

DATE: Infrequent outings with dad where mother can enjoy worrying about the family in a different environment and surroundings.

E is for

EMPTY NEST: See "WISHFUL THINKING."

F is for

FABLE: A story often told by a teenager arriving home later than promised. Alternative is politicians explaining policies.

G is for

GUM: Adhesive for use in many common emergencies, cracked radiators, loose hair-piece, wobbly dentures.

H is for

HINDSIGHT: The parental experience that comes from changing too many diapers.

I is for

INFLATION: A method for cutting money in half without damaging the paper it's printed on.

J is for

JUNK: What mother calls Dad's stuff and Dad calls mothers stuff.

K is for

KISS: Mothers most effective medicine. Dads favorite treatment.

L is for

LEMONADE STAND: US concept by which complex business venture created requiring mother to buy powdered mix, sugar, lemons, and paper cups and sets up a table (lemonade stand) chairs, pitchers and ice for kids who sit at stand there for three to six minutes and netting a profit of 15 cents.

M is for

MAYBE: When spoken by parents means No. Uttered by politicians means "don't know"!

N is for

NAIL POLISH: Part of an assortment of make-up items such as lipstick, eyeliner, blush etc. which ironically make older women look better while making their young daughters look "like a tramps."

O is for

OVERSTUFFED RECLINER: Mothers nickname for Dad.

P is for

PANIC: What a mother goes through when the darn wind swings under her skirt.

Q is for

QUIET: A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left home.

R is for

REFRIGERATOR: Combination art gallery and air-conditioner found in the kitchen.

S is for

SPOILED ROTTEN: What the kids become after as little as 15 minutes with Grandparents.

T is for

TOWELS: See "FLOOR COVERINGS ".

U is for

UNDERWEAR: An article of clothing, the cleanliness of which ensures the wearer will never have an accident.

V is for

VACATION: Where you take the family to get away from it all, only to find it there, too.

W is for

WALLS: Complete set of drawing paper for kids that comes with every room.

X is for

XOXOXO: Motherly salutation guaranteed to make the already embarrassing note in a kid's lunch box even more mortifying.

Y is for

"YIPPEE! ": What mother's shout the first day of school.

Z is for

ZUCCHINI: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it."

Please add more words if you are so inclined.