Me and Mr Rabbit

On the way to work one day last week I way confronted by something out of the ordinary. There near an ordinary garden fence was the tamest fattest big brown floppy eared rabbit.


I walked up to it via the footpath near the fence and stood no more than six inches away from it. It looked at me out of the side of one large rounded pea-shaped eye as if to say "can't talk now - busy eating". Then it went back to the clump of grass it was eating and continued chewing, chomp, chomp, chomp its jaw.


I was so amazed by its placid tameness that I got my camera out and took some photos of it. Alas at this point Mr Rabbit decided to be a shy creature again and disappeared through the bars in the fence and out of view behind the house it had been in front of when I first saw it. Not a bit like the more famous White Mr Rabbit that spent its time chatting to Alice even though he was late for a very important date. Nor was he imaginary like Harvey the one seen by Jimmy Stewart the main character in "Its a Wonderful Life". And not in any way sinister or dark like the rabbit that kept turning up for Donny Darko.


Makes you think how much humans are taken by Rabbits. How much we like to ponder on this little creature who  apart from its placid nature can only really lay claim to breeding often as a major skill set. A skill set that has seen it become a fertilty symbol, a religious symbol and a food source.


On resuming my trip to work I could not help making the anology that at the moment we are beset by another Mr Rabbit who is far from shy and has made posturing before cameras an art form. Wish he was imaginery and a little less sinister.
  

The Banister of Life

As You Slide Down the Banister of  Life - some points to remember . . . 1. Life is full of double meanings, for example:   lay preachers Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggert have written  an impressive new book called . . .   'Ministers Do More  Than Lay People'  2. The difference between the Pope and Your boss, the Pope only expects you To kiss his ring.  3.  Your mind works like lightning,  One brilliant FLASH and it's gone.  4. The only time the world beats a path to Your door is if you're in the bathroom.    5. You get to hate sex in the movies.  Once you try it you find that: the seat folded up, the drinks spill and the ice, well . . . it really chills the mood.  6. It used to be only death and taxes!!! Now there's also shipping and handling.  7. A mans house should have no kitchen just Vending machines and a  large garbage bin.  8. Definition of a teenager should be . . .  God's punishment...for enjoying sex.  So as you slide down the banister of life,  May the splinters never point the wrong way!!    And remember to be who you are and say what you feel because those that matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter!

 

Some famous Comic Love Lines

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. Whatever it is there are some funny comments made about it. Here are just a few...

David Bissonnette I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.

Henry Youngman It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week.

Laurence J. Peter If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Unknown If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?

Lily Tomlin Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.

John Barrymore Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

Robert Frost A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know.

The GW Bush Junior Top 10

Some pearls among the many gems to come forth from the mouth of one GW Bush Junior.

Reading these is enough to bring on faith as surely there must be a God if this man led the free world and war was avoided:

(10) They misunderestimated me.

(9) See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda

(8) I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace.

(7) I'm the commander -- see, I don't need to explain -- I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being president.

(6) The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq were the ones who attacked us in America on September the 11th.

(5) Tribal sovereignty means that. It’s sovereign. You’re a ... you’re a ... you’ve been given sovereignty and you’re viewed as a sovereign entity

(4) I wish you'd have given me this written question ahead of time so I could plan for it...I'm sure something will pop into my head here in the midst of this press conference, with all the pressure of trying to come up with answer, but it hadn't yet...I don't want to sound like I have made no mistakes. I'm confident I have. I just haven't -- you just put me under the spot here, and maybe I'm not as quick on my feet as I should be in coming up with one.

(3) Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.

(2) If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator

(1) There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

TGIF - Homer J Simpson Style

Homer says some funny stuff. Some of his best is 

15) But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder. 

14) Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such. 




13) I'm having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church! 


12) [When Holmer met Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! 


11) When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! 


10) Life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.

9) mmmm…unexplained bacon

8) English side ruined, must read French side. La Grille?? The hell is that?

7) How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

6) Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does that do me?

5) I’m not normally a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman!

4) English? Who needs that, I’m never going to England.

3) I’ve masturbated 10 billion times and have no plans to stop masturbating in the future

2) If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can’t speak English. Ah Tibor, how many times have you saved my butt?

1) Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Holding your hand for Satisfaction

Monday dawns with a quote I like running around in my mind:

"The difference between the Rolling Stones & the Beatles is - that the Beatles only want to hold your hand but the Rolling Stones can't get no Satisfaction"

Yes watching repeat of Art Nation. Still sad it's been pulled. Still not happy with Aunty (the Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC)) about this decision. Like the New Inventors not everything on television should be there because it amasses large audiences.

Some things need to be broadcast because they serve a community purpose (like the New Inventors) or they create a balance or variety of content.

It seems to me if "mass popularity" were the only guide we would ended up with viewing choices amounting to Masterchef type programs, Renovation Shows etc and nothing much else. All of which are already over provided by commercial channels and not in need of funding or support from a public broadcaster.

Another example of this niche role is the Gruen Transfer a program about advertising that would never have got to air on commercial TV but which is a hit on ABC & has found an audience.

The ABC should allow the commercial stations to be commercial and focus on it's role of providing a variety of content and place where new ideas get a chance.

A Tale about Real Men

A tale about Male toughness..

The scene is set, the night is cold, the campfire is burning and the stars twinkle in the dark night sky...

Three hang-glider pilots, one from Australia, one from South Africa and the other from New Zealand, are sitting round a campfire near Ayers Rock, each embroiled with the bravado for which they are famous.

A night of tall tales begins....

Kiven, the kiwi says, "I must be the meanest, toughest heng glider dude there us. Why, just the other day, I linded in a field and scared a crocodile thet got loose from the swamp. Et ate sux men before I wrestled ut to the ground weth my bare hends end beat ut's bliddy 'ed un.

Jerry from South Africa typically can't stand to be bettered. "Well you guys, I lended orfter a 200 mile flight on a tiny treck, ind a fifteen foot Namibian desert snike slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grebbed thet borsted with my bare hinds and tore it's head orf ind sucked the poison down in one gulp. Ind I'm still here today".

Barry the Aussie remained silent, slowly poking the fire with his penis.

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